This is a pretty good myth from the vast resources of the Brihatrakathasarithasagara about the dangers of generalizing from particular instances. Not all inferences are universally valid to all people, a point particularly relevant in the context of the prejudices that women were traditionally viewed with.

In the kingdom of Ujjain, [more mythical than real and representing an idealization of urbanity and culture] there was a king who was prone to taking his wife for granted. She was a lady of great spirit and not used to being subject to benign neglect that was the usual lot of female royalty. This made for a rather interesting marital life to say the least. The queen being more intelligent the king was decidedly getting the worst of their little tiffs. In despair he began to consult his prime minister before he ventured to interact with her. This, contrary to the hoary advice that a king who follows the counsel of his minister prospers, was proving to be counter-productive too. However the king persevered in this course of action, not least perhaps because it was manifestly irritating his wife.

One day he returned from his hunt to learn that his wife was in the Sulking Chamber. Ancient India was a very interesting place and it had certain unusual mechanisms for royal women to convey their displeasure without descending to bandying words. The cause of this withdrawal was that the king had, like husbands of all time, forgotten her birthday. This was a major blunder and the king was about to hasten to her and apologize when his counselor restrained him.

"She will gain a moral victory over you if you apologize over such a trifle. This an advantage she will never shirk form driving home, sit tight and ignore it." Though it went against his grain the king thought there must be something in it and did as advised. The results were depressingly predictable. He did have some pricking of conscience however and he promised her that she would receive the extremely rare and precious blue diamond on her next birthday.

When the officious minister heard of this promise he was aghast.
"Has any man satisfied a woman's desire for jewelry? Get her in to the habit of taking blue diamonds for granted and you are in deep trouble. An ordinary one will do just as well."
This was palatable advice as it meant saving money though it was totally unjust towards the queen who was not in the least avaricious. By now she was fed up with this unending stream of good advice that was making her marriage an enduring misery. Being a clever woman she asked the king to convey a simple message to the minister. He was intrigued and thought it was some sort of test of his counselor's resourcefulness and kings are always willing and eager to see their advisers fall down. So even though he did not comprehend the question he conveyed it.

" Is the whip used on a mare to be used on a hare?"
The minister was abashed beyond measure and announced to the king that his days of advice in domestic matters were officially over. Now the king was intrigued. What was in that simple question which altered matters to this extent? His wife explained it to him.
"Your minister is married to a termagant. She is constantly contradicting him, has a vile temper, is greedy and perpetually makes extravagant demands on him, his time and his money. The unfortunate man has got into the habit of judging all women by his wife and basing his advice on his own miserable experiences. Because he has to be perpetually firm and sometimes harsh to maintain the balance and even sanity of his home, he thinks that is the only pattern of interaction in a marriage. It is not a major issue if the diamond was white or blue but he was misrepresenting my character to you and causing you to break your promises to me, neither of them activities which were likely to turn out well for the future. I had no choice but to point out that his generalizations were based on faulty premises."

The king of Ujjain was so impressed that he made his wife his chief counselor from that day on!

- Rohit Arya

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